AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING

At a festival in Konosu City, Japan, attendees watched a rocket weighing 1,014 pounds and measuring nearly four feet in circumference explode into the night sky. This whole fireworks display is impressive, but if you're looking for the big bang, it comes at around 3:15.

NO E-BOWL-A JOKES HERE

I’m under no illusion that I may  have gotten the disease that is currently scaring the shit out of everyone from a mere high five. I know that it requires direct contact with bodily fluids from someone who outwardly appears very sick. Nor do I think that I can get Ebola from a bowling ball. Nor do I have any idea if I did, in fact, high five Spencer.  But, well, why the hell do I feel like this?

DOWN THE TUBE

Q: What do you get when you combine a pencil, a mint julep, and a man dissatisfied with the status quo? A: The modern-day drinking straw. Besides being a joke that will never take off, that’s an accurate description of the birth of straws as we know them today. Since then, straws have been downright radicalized.

WE'LL TAKE 'BUSINESS ETHICS' FOR TRILLIONS

Speeches from Federal Reserve Bank presidents tend not to be very interesting, and indeed New York Fed President William Dudley's recent talk on "Enhancing Financial Stability by Improving Culture in the Financial Services Industry" seems to have been titled so as to maximize the number of people who ignore it. But he ended with a bombshell, telling CEOs that unless they clean up their acts, the Wall Street megabanks are going to get broken up.

BASICALLY EVERYWHERE BUT STATEN ISLAND

Officials said Dr. Spencer visited locations in Manhattan and Brooklyn before he became sick. He took the A and L trains on Wednesday to the Gutter in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where he bowled with friends. He took an Uber taxi back to Manhattan. He also went to the High Line and may have stopped at a restaurant along the way. He rode the 1 train and went on a three-mile jog.

THE GREAT MISTAKE

Though you won't find this story explicitly told in the game itself, it's based on a reading of modern geopolitics that extrapolates decades and even centuries into the future. How plausible is this lore? Well, since there's nothing more fun than analyzing a fictional universe as though it's real life, I thought I'd take a closer look using our modern-day understanding of history, political science and technology.

IT'S A BEAR MARKET

“Excuse me, but what’s in that box?” a sixty-something man asks Karl Reichstetter, 33. A cardboard cube rests at Reichstetter’s feet in Philz Coffee, in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco. Two furry, triangular ears poke up out of the box’s open top. “It’s a bear coat that you can wear for fun,” Reichstetter explains as the man starts backing away.

REFUELED AND RECHARCHED FOR A REMATCH

In the late 1800s, the Studebaker company was the world's largest manufacturer of wagons and buggies. When the company began making automobiles, they chose to power their engines with electricity, not gasoline. But eventually, the gasoline-powered engine became the preferred technology. Now, more than 100 years later, automakers face many of the same dilemmas and decisions as their predecessors did.

THE 19-YEAR SEARCH FOR BIANCA LOZANO

As if losing a child to kidnapping wasn’t horrifying enough, ineffective law enforcement agencies and predatory private investigators only add to the confusion and pain. Deana Hebert’s long, maddening search for her daughter — and the ex-husband who took her — may be the rule, not the exception.